I'm sure everyone here came from happy, functional families. Forcing us to talk about our homes couldn't possibly wreak havoc, City ( Read more... )

There are two things, only two, that I would like to know.

One: Why does it smell like there's something dead in the sink?
Two: When I open up the drain trap, am I going to find something dead?

Ok, three things.

Where the fu-- fungus -- are my shoes?

[OOC: Aw, single father isn't used to not swearing in front of the kids.]